Sunday, 20 May 2012

my sweet friend seana ♥

i remember it very well: you were staying at my house for the weekend. you went for cpr training during the day while i studied at home. in the evenings we had great conversations- about anything and everything. we had honey-garlic chicken for dinner with rice and carrots on the side. while i was washing dishes, you told me you have a doctor's appointment coming up. i asked 'for what'. you put my hand over the lump.

that was when your six year battle first started. and today that battle ended. 

i saw someone describe you as 'the most beautiful warrior'- that's exactly what you were. you fought the good fight, and now it is finished.
i'm so happy for you my friend: you're able to dance with freedom and liberty - no more pain, no more sorrow. 
ever since lucy was born, we've prayed with her at bed time. every night we remembered you in prayer: "please Jesus, make seana feel all better". tonight our prayer went something like this: "thank you jesus for making seana feel all better. we're happy she's with You now".
i then explained to lucy that seana now gets to see the most beautiful things and gets to experience things she's never dreamed of.

two weeks ago while at church, i got a terrible feeling of sadness come over me- i wept, and wept, and wept. i knew something was going on with you. i felt the need to pray against fear; for God to bring you complete peace. i soon found out that you were suffering like never before.

for two weeks i've been praying for you at least hourly and i've been singing these words, in hope that somehow they'd bring you comfort:

this is our God
your grace is enough
more than i need
and your word i will believe
i wait for you
draw near again
and your spirit make me new
and i will fall at your feet
i will fall at your feet
and i will worship you here

your presence in me
Jesus light the way
by the power of your word
i am restored
i am redeemed
by your spirit i am free
and i will fall at your feet
i will fall at your feet
and i will worship you here

freely you gave it all for us
surrendered your life upon that cross
great is your love
poured out for all
this is our God

lifted on high from death to life
forever our God is glorified
sovereign king
rescued the world
this is our God

i wondered what you were thinking of. were you shuffling through a lifetime of memories?
that's what i did. i thought of all my memories i have of you and i wrote down a 'few' of them... these might not mean anything to anyone else, but they mean the world to me. these were some of my connections to you and i'll cherish them forever.

-staying with you in tbay
-drawing with crayons and melting the pictures in the oven
-airing off after sauna in tbay (that probably sounds funny to most people haha- and it really was a funny moment. but you made me feel really special: i remember laughing so hard and somehow through the laughter, you managed to say "jenny, i'm so glad you're here with me right now. i'm glad it's you" ♥)
-haircuts by student hairdressers (oh gosh)
-lol, i never told you this: remember when my brother really liked you back in high school? lol, well he had a paper written with 'questions to ask seana on the phone' lol... he was so nervous, just wanted to carry on a conversation i suppose 
-hanging out at york
-watching you worship
-your crinkled nose when you laughed
-you were always selfless and non-materialistic
-very caring
-funny views towards kids (haha)
-worship dancing
-your love for reading
-your love for learning
-your 'listening' eyes and 'uh huh'
-a reaction you had of tilting your head back
-you were very blunt. i like that. heh, so am i
-dancing at our friends' wedding
-admiring our friend's brother (haha...)
-'but loads'
-your worship dance at our wedding (i remember how happy you were for mikko and i when we got engaged. you literally didn't miss our wedding 'for the world'. you were so sick, yet you were determined to worship at our wedding. i am beyond grateful for that gesture)
-letters between you and mikko (thank you for challenging him and helping him become the person he is today)
-'oh gosh'
-singing "in idaho where potatoes grow..."

seana my darling, i love you. i miss you already. i can't wait to see you again. 
goodbye dear friend.