Friday, 14 December 2012

my heart aches...

my heart aches for all the children, teachers and staff who today had to endure the pain, fear and suffering that no one should ever have to experience.

as a teacher, i can only imagine what the educators at sandy hook elementary school had to go through today. in my heart, i know they must have tried to comfort all the little souls around them as they huddled together in corners or in closets.
when we practiced emergency drills at school, i saw fear in children's faces - and these were only to prepare ourselves for any possible incidents. i would often whisper songs to those kids or tell stories to comfort them.
i'm sure teachers did the same in connecticut. 

i'm sure we will hear of wonderful stories where children saw angels around them or felt Jesus holding their hands and protecting them. 
but unfortunately, many of them will never be the same again. 
we - i mean the entire world- will have to gain back their trust. we will have to allow them time to mourn and time to develop into new beings - what i mean is that this tragedy has now changed everyone that it has touched and we will have to be sensitive to those changes. we will somehow have to bring back their childlike qualities and most importantly win back their reliance and confidence in us.

i believe that my part in the aftermath of this whole horrific event is to now pray for the children affected by this tragedy - and not only that, but to pray for children that are now *hearing* about the event. i will be praying against both fear and doubt. i pray that they haven't lost their trust in God or in the teachers or adults in whom they have entrusted their lives. i pray that fear would not blind them but that because of their fear they will find Jesus.

i don't know how but i believe that somehow God is going to be working through these children, teachers, staff and family members. 
i know that on facebook there are a lot of comments concerning both gun regulations and the mental health of the offender - however, in my opinion, it goes so much deeper than the presence of weapons or one's psychological state. we can be angry at legislators, social workers, psychologists - anyone who may have somehow had a potential part or involvement with the offender leading up to this unfathomable event. in the end, the man did what he wanted to do - we may never know his full intentions and will surely never understand them. we can do a lot of finger pointing, but in the end that has no effect until we ask God to take over it all. it will mean a lot of surrendering: our anger, our disbelief, our frustration, our heartaches, and our sorrow. God will need to be given the upper hand in this and His will will need to be the way.

before having lucy, i would have seen this as a terrible and awful tragedy.
but now as a mother, i see it as unfathomable, gutwrenching, and horrific. tragic incidences involving children hit me that much harder now (and believe me, they hit me hard before having lucy - i am a teacher after all). what happens to other's children affects me as though they are my own. i take offence to situations, i hurt and my heart bleeds when i hear of children having to endure such distress, grief or sorrow. i have such a deep love for children and feel a need to pray for them all.

thank you Jesus that my little girl is sleeping safely in her room ♥

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